The lost.


“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come o…

Source: The lost.


Who am I?


who am I? I am more than an anxious perfectionist hiding in the background of a social gathering. I am more than a the fearful and often intimidated-by-teenagers 20-something year old. I am more than the summation of my illnesses and far more than the predictors of what 18 years of abuse tell me I should be. I am not depression. I am not anxiety. I am not flash backs, nor panic attacks. I am more than the fears I have of never really belonging, of not being wanted. Am more than an orphan. I am more than the lack of grace filled responses, more than my sharp and cutting attitude, more than my defensive aggressiveness. I am more than a near doctoral level student with little hope for a regular career. I am more than overweight and sick. I am more than what my empty bank account, health history, and inability to work dictate to me. I am more than the summation of my parts. 

I am a crafting enthusiast. I am a lover of veggies, of the ocean, ofIntimate  relationships. I am terrible at small talk, a lover of meaningful conversation. I make the most of time. I know loss well. I love well. I care deeply. I give greatly. I sacrifice. I am a fighter, a pursuer, a good friend, a perceiver. A saver of all things, a life grower, a mentor, a recovering perfectionist, a counselor, a friend, sister, mother to many. I am a sweats kind of girl, a lover of pizza, the sun, and laughing. A lover of the arts, of dancing, of pushing myself beyond what I deemed possible. I am a dreamer and a doer. I am more than the tears I shed, more than the fears I carry, more than the otrocities I’ve witnessed. I am gentle, observant, thoughtful, and funny. I am human. A being. A soul. I am deserving. That’s who I am.

Eve Tushnet: Being Single Shouldn’t Mean Being Alone


In today’s Washington Post, our own Eve Tushnet has an essay about how modern American culture idolizes romantic love and neglects other forms of community, and gives a shout-out to St. Aelred. This vision that exalts and even idolizes couplehood should feel alien to most cultures and should feel especially wrong for Christians. Jesus died a […]

Carrying A Spouse – Hard Truth about Marriage


To the friends I know who have carried their spouses in hardship, sickness, and with much heaviness, your example of love has made me weep.

The Catholic Husband


It will happen to you. That is just a fact. At some point in your marriage you will either carry your spouse, or be carried by your spouse. In reality – you will probably both spend a good deal of time carrying each other.

All to often today we see this as a major imposition. When we marry we do not think too deeply about the “in sickness or health, for better or for worse” part of our vows. Then when a spouse needs to be carried any significant period, we think it’s ok to tell ourselves “this isn’t what we signed up for”, or the even more nefarious “I deserve better than this”. I’m telling you now – this is exactly what you signed up for, and your spouse deserves better if you think you can come up with an excuse not to carry them.

Most of the time, it…

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One request from a survivor of childhood abuse

One request from a survivor of childhood abuse


shutterstock_74353027Editor’s Note: Today’s post was written by a friend of Key Ministry who asked not to be identified by name. Given the personal nature of the post, we’re honoring their request. As Shannon, Jolene and myself have written about trauma in the past, this piece resonates with some of our earlier posts on the topic.

Maybe you’re a pastor. Maybe you care for kids at church or school or daycare. Maybe, as is the law in 18 states, you’re simply an adult.

You’re also a mandatory reporter. By law, you are responsible for alerting authorities if you suspect a child is being neglected, physically abused, emotionally or verbally abused, or sexually abused, whether or not you have absolute proof. Some people fail to do so, out of reasons like offering the benefit of the doubt or not wanting to upset parents with an investigation.

Others, like you, take your role…

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We had no casseroles…

We had no casseroles…


Casseroles60 Minutes presented a remarkable segment on the topic of  mentally ill kids in crisis.

I was searching online for the video earlier today and came across some additional footage the producers of the segment were unable to use in the segment. In this footage, Scott Pelley (the correspondent who presented the segment), the producers, and a group of mothers of children at Yale-New Haven Children’s Hospital discuss the stigma of raising a mentally  ill child…

Shortly after the 4:00 mark in this video, Scott tossed out this question…

SP: What is the difference between being the mother of a child who has mental illness and the mother of a child who has heart disease or cancer?

Mothers: Sympathy…empathy…empathy…casseroles.

SP: Casseroles? What do you mean?

Mothers: Somebody needs to share the casserole story.

My daughter, when she was thirteen was hit by a car and fortunately was fine, except for…

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