Very few times in my life have I felt ready to make a change…
There was that time I had surgery and felt for sure afterward I would eat better and exercise (since I had been too ill to for years). I started juicing and was on a mostly veggie diet along with exercising for 5 days a week at 5am.. 5 months post surgery. It was fantastic and I lost weight, but I got sick again and couldn’t continue it.
There was the time I decided to move to a new city to help be a part of a church plant. It seemed exciting. But if I am going to be honest, I just went because it felt right. The people I was closest to and loved and considered family were going. How could I not?
Not to mention that I had no intention of EVER moving. Not until God picked me up from where I was living in VA (in school) and put me back in MA. I was too ill to stay at school and needed daily help along with being close to my doctors. My plan was to move to Haiti to direct an orphanage.
I chose to go to college 12 hours from where I grew up. Though I wanted to go, I was terrified that those I was leaving would forget about me and I’d never see them again, I’d never have a “home” to come back to.
There was also the time I stepped out of the church/job I moved to the city for, after 5 years. I was stepping out of the only family I had, the only people at that time whom I felt some semblance of support and care from. But it was no longer healthy for me. Through a whole year of tears and painful contemplating, it was a decision I prayerfully thought would be best.
I never feel ready.
For a new job.
For a new home.
For new housemates.
For swimsuit season.
There’s always something that stops up, or wants to, from feeling ready. Fear. Fear has a way about itself that is enough to paralyze us into a crippling stand still. Sometimes even a complete halt. Fear of others. Fear of consequences. Fear of loss. Fear of failing. Fear of change. Fear of losing all the areas, things, people, and places that hold special reminders and memories in our hearts and minds. Fear that if we move forward, we will no longer have what has always been. Even if what has always been is sub par to what’s ahead.
Sometimes it’s an internal need for change and sometimes it external.
Sometimes you really have just maxed out your potential in the city you live in, in the job you work in. People make a big deal out of “moving for the wrong reasons”. Sometimes change is necessary to both make room for someone else and to experience opportunities in another location.
Sometimes life feels overly monotonous. There’s nothing wrong with it, but perhaps the monotony is a sign that there’s change that needs to be considered, joy and exploration and child-like play that’s been missing from your life for far too long. Sometimes change is necessary to thrive, to live, to truly enjoy the life and air and breath you’ve been given.
There’s a downward spiral, near continually or habitually or seasonally. Something’s not right but everything appears like it SHOULD be just fine, but you’re not okay. Change could be helpful. Lifestyle. Eating habits. Relationships. Counseling.
But maybe a friend or relative is sick. Maybe you have a niece or nephew you just want to be near because you want to have an ongoing relationship in his/her life. Maybe there’s better education or training. Maybe you are just homesick in ways that you never thought imaginable. Maybe the job isn’t what you thought it would be. Maybe the house is too much work. Maybe your time is more valuable than your money and you don’t want to work so much in order to keep paying for so much. Maybe.
Change is hard. We rarely feel ready for the upheaval of change. We often know something is not right, but fear is strong and can hold us back. Change makes us flexible. Change reminds us that anything is possible. Change causes us to learn in ways we never knew we needed to.